This week's book: "The Charisma Myth" by Olivia Fox Cabane.
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than in two years by trying to get people interested in you."
Dale Carnegie
It's Saturday, so let's pull the week together.
When I picked up this week's book, I assumed it would be about becoming more outgoing or more persuasive. It wasn't. It challenged one of the biggest myths we carry about magnetic people: that they were born that way. Cabane's whole argument is that charisma isn't a gift you're born with. It's a set of behaviors you can build.
Here's a good summary of the week. We started with her three pillars: presence, giving someone your full, undivided attention; power, the quiet confidence that comes from competence and character; and warmth, letting people know you genuinely care. I told you about the most powerful man I know, so soft-spoken you have to lean in to hear him, but who moves mountains anyway. And about Tony, a trader who stood three feet behind me, quiet as could be, and outperformed all the loud ones. Then, yesterday, we looked at how our body language speaks before we do, including the talented guy whose habit of folding his arms and swaying cost him deals he never knew he lost.
The thread running through all of it: the most charismatic people I've known were never the loudest in the room. They were the ones who made everyone else feel comfortable, respected, and valued.
My honest take on the book: it's genuinely useful and refreshingly practical, full of specific exercises rather than vague encouragement. A few of the techniques feel a little clinical, more like an actor's workshop than a natural conversation. But the core promise holds up: charisma is a skill, and it's learnable. Worth the read, especially if you've ever assumed you just don't have it.
The biggest thing I took away isn't really a technique at all. It's that communicating better doesn't always start with better words. Sometimes it starts with better awareness. Charisma… underneath all the mechanics, isn't about drawing attention to yourself. It's about making other people feel seen, heard, and valued.
That's the version of charisma I actually want, and it fits what I'm trying to build here. Great books hold some real wisdom but reading them isn't enough. The value comes when we live the ideas and then share them.
This week's challenge
For the next seven days, start each morning with three questions, and write down one answer for each. It may feel awkward the first morning or two. Stick with it. By the weekend I think you'll look forward to it. Here goes:
What will I do today to improve or protect my health?
What will I do today to move toward my purpose? (Not sure of your purpose yet? Then write about that. Finding it is a journey worth taking.)
What will I do today to strengthen a relationship that matters? (That can include with the relationship with yourself.)
Health. Purpose. Love. They're small questions. But a little progress in each, every day, adds up to a remarkable life. These three are how I start my own mornings, so I'll be right there doing it with you.
What's one thing you'll do today for one of the three? Hit reply, I read every one.
I'll go first: today it's relationships. I'm reaching out to an old friend I haven't talked to in far too long. It's the big guy from yesterday, the one who folds his arms and sways. Ten years since we last spoke. Time to fix that.
Next week
We're reading "Start." by Jon Acuff, subtitled Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average, Do Work That Matters. We spent this week on how you connect with others. Next week is about getting off the sidelines and beginning the work that actually matters to you. If you'd like to read along, this weekend's a good time to grab a copy, and the Kindle version is instant.
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I'll be back Monday,
Mike
Practical wisdom for the life you're building